# Chapter 2: Pig in the Big City I stared at the bowl of ramen, wondering if this was some cosmic joke. Here I was, formerly Mister Pipi, accountant and human being, now reduced to a pig being offered instant noodles by an anime character. Naruto finished slurping his own portion and grinned at me expectantly. "How is it? Good, right?" I gave the bowl another tentative sniff. The overwhelming smell of artificial chicken flavoring made my sensitive pig nostrils burn. I'd never been a fan of instant ramen as a human, but as a pig with enhanced senses, it was practically a weapon of mass destruction. "Go ahead, eat up!" Naruto encouraged, cross-legged on the floor beside me. "You need to get your strength up if you're going to be a ninja pig!" A ninja pig? Was that his plan? I almost snorted with laughter, which came out as an actual snort because, well, pig. "I know, I know," Naruto said, misinterpreting my response as enthusiasm. "It's gonna be awesome! No one else has a ninja pig. Not even Sasuke!" Great. I was being drafted into a rivalry I wanted no part of. I reluctantly dipped my snout into the ramen again, trying to fish out some noodles without gagging on the salty broth. The texture was all wrong for my new mouth, slippery and difficult to manage without hands. I ended up with more ramen on my face than in my stomach. "You're kind of messy, aren't you?" Naruto laughed, reaching over to wipe my snout with his sleeve. It was equal parts humiliating and touching. "That's okay. I'm not exactly neat either." That was the understatement of the century. Looking around his apartment, I realized I'd seen landfills with better organizational systems. Discarded clothes formed archaeological layers on the floor. The kitchen counter hosted what appeared to be a science experiment involving expired milk. And was that mold growing on the ceiling, or just a really strange shadow? "I should probably clean up a bit," Naruto said, following my gaze. "But I'll do it later. Training comes first! And speaking of training..." He jumped to his feet with the boundless energy of a twelve-year-old hyperactive ninja. "I need to go meet with Kakashi-sensei and the others. Our team just formed, and I can't be late!" Wait, what? He was leaving? Already? But I'd just gotten here! What was I supposed to do in this biohazard of an apartment by myself? I let out a distressed oink, rushing forward to block his path to the door. This resulted in me tangling in his feet and both of us nearly toppling over. "Whoa!" Naruto steadied himself against the wall. "What's wrong? You want to come with me?" Yes! Yes, that's exactly what I wanted! I nodded my head vigorously, making my ears flop. "Sorry, but you can't," he said, looking genuinely apologetic. "Kakashi-sensei would probably get mad if I brought a pig to training. And Sakura might think it's weird..." He trailed off, a faint blush coloring his cheeks at the mention of his crush. I tried another approach, backing up and pointedly looking around the disaster zone of an apartment, then back at him. See? This place is uninhabitable! You can't leave me here! "Don't worry about the mess," Naruto said, completely misunderstanding. "Make yourself at home! I'll only be gone for a few hours." A few hours? In this petri dish of an apartment? I was going to contract diseases that didn't even have names yet! But Naruto was already moving toward the door, grabbing his ninja gear. "There's water in that bowl over there," he pointed to what I hoped was a relatively clean dish on the floor. "And, um, if you need to... you know... go to the bathroom..." He looked around uncertainly. "Maybe use the newspaper by the window? I'll figure out something better later." Newspaper. He expected me to use newspaper. The indignity was almost too much to bear. "Be good, okay?" Naruto said, hand on the doorknob. "I'll bring you back something tasty!" If his idea of "tasty" was more instant ramen, I was going to pass. With a final wave and a bright smile, Naruto was gone, the door clicking shut behind him. I heard the sound of his footsteps racing down the hall, followed by the thud that I assumed was him jumping off the balcony rather than using the stairs like a normal person. And just like that, I was alone. A pig in an apartment. In the Naruto universe. I stood perfectly still for a moment, listening to the sudden silence. The apartment felt different without Naruto's exuberant presence—emptier, but somehow even more chaotic, as if his personality had been the only thing holding the mess together. Alright, I thought to myself. What now? First things first: I needed to explore my new prison—I mean, home. I trotted around the main room, careful to avoid stepping on anything suspicious (which was practically everything). The floor was a minefield of discarded clothes, scrolls, and what appeared to be half-eaten food hidden under other objects. How did one person create so much chaos? I made my way to the kitchen area, which looked like it had been the site of a small explosion. Dishes were piled high in the sink, crusted with what I hoped was just old food. The countertop was sticky with unidentifiable substances. And the fridge—I pushed it open with my snout and immediately regretted it. The smell that wafted out made my sensitive pig nose burn. I quickly backed away, letting the door swing shut. The bathroom was next, and I approached it with trepidation. Pushing the door open with my head (still getting used to not having hands), I peeked inside. It was... surprisingly not the worst thing I'd seen so far. Still disgusting by normal standards, but compared to the rest of the apartment, almost civilized. At least the toilet wasn't overflowing. I backed out and continued my tour. The bed was unmade, sheets tangled into a nest. Beside it was a small nightstand with a framed photo—Team 7, I realized. This must be early in the series, when they'd just formed as a team. Naruto, Sasuke, Sakura, and Kakashi, looking exactly as they did in the anime. It was surreal seeing this familiar image in person. Well, in pig. My exploration complete, I was left with an uncomfortable realization: I was utterly, completely dependent on Naruto. I couldn't open doors. I couldn't feed myself. I couldn't even turn on the TV to pass the time. I was a pig. A pet. A companion animal to a fictional character who thought instant ramen was a balanced meal. The absurdity of my situation hit me all at once, and I collapsed onto my haunches in the middle of the floor. If pigs could cry, I would have been sobbing. Instead, I let out a series of pathetic little oinks that echoed in the empty apartment. After wallowing in self-pity for what felt like forever (but was probably just a few minutes), I forced myself to pull it together. Crying—or oinking sadly—wasn't going to solve anything. I needed to adapt. To make the best of this bizarre situation. And the first step to making things better was cleaning up this pigsty. The irony wasn't lost on me. But how exactly does a pig clean an apartment? I had no hands, no cleaning supplies, and a body that was barely a foot off the ground. This was going to be challenging. I started with what seemed easiest: gathering the scattered clothes. Using my snout, I pushed dirty shirts, pants, and what I really hoped weren't underwear into a pile in the corner. It was slow, disgusting work. Some of the clothes were stiff with substances I didn't want to identify. Others smelled so strongly that even pushing them across the floor made my eyes water. After about twenty minutes of this, I had a decent pile going. Not exactly laundry-ready, but at least they weren't strewn across every surface. The floor was already looking marginally better. Next, I tackled the empty ramen cups. This proved more difficult. I tried carrying them in my mouth, but they were awkward and tasted terrible. Eventually, I figured out I could stack them by carefully pushing them together with my snout, then shoving the stack toward the trash can. Getting them into the trash can was another matter entirely. It was too tall for me to reach. After several failed attempts to knock it over (it was surprisingly stable for something in Naruto's apartment), I had a breakthrough. I pushed one of Naruto's shoes under the edge of the can, creating a makeshift lever, then jumped on the other end. The can tipped over, spilling its contents. Not ideal, but now I could push the ramen cups directly into the pile. I'd worry about getting everything back in the can later. As I worked, I found myself settling into my pig body. The initial awkwardness was fading. I was learning how to use my snout effectively, how to leverage my low center of gravity, even how to use my hooves to manipulate certain objects. It wasn't the same as having hands, but it was something. The real challenge came when I tried to tackle the kitchen. The dishes in the sink were beyond my reach, and even if I could get to them, I had no way to wash them. The sticky substances on the counter defied my best efforts to clean them without proper supplies. And the refrigerator... well, that was a lost cause. Still, I managed to push the visible trash into piles, organize the scattered ninja tools onto the table, and even use a fallen dishcloth to mop up some spills by dragging it across the floor with my teeth. It was disgusting work, but also strangely satisfying. The apartment was starting to look less like a danger zone and more like a merely very messy living space. Hours passed as I continued my cleaning mission. I was so absorbed in my task that I almost didn't hear the footsteps approaching the door. When the lock clicked, I froze in the middle of pushing a scroll under the bed. The door swung open, and Naruto burst in, radiating his usual energy. "I'm home!" he announced to what he thought was an empty apartment. Then he stopped dead in his tracks, blue eyes widening as he took in the changed space. "What the—" He looked around in bewilderment, taking in the piled clothes, the organized trash, the cleared floor. "Did someone break in and clean?" I trotted over to him, letting out what I hoped was a friendly greeting oink. His eyes snapped to me, then back to the apartment, confusion written all over his face. "Did... did I clean before I left?" He scratched his head, genuinely perplexed. "I don't remember doing that. But who else would have..." His gaze landed on me again, and for a heart-stopping moment, I thought he'd figured it out. Then he laughed. "Nah, couldn't be you. You're just a pig." He knelt down to pat my head. "I must have cleaned up a bit and forgotten. Man, I'm more tired than I thought!" I let out a breath I didn't know I was holding. He hadn't connected the dots. Of course he hadn't—the idea of a pig cleaning an apartment was ridiculous. Even in a world where people could walk on water and create shadow clones. "Training was awesome today!" Naruto announced, dropping his gear by the door and flopping onto his now-visible bed. "Well, Sasuke was being a jerk as usual, and Sakura ignored me, and Kakashi-sensei was late again, but still! We're getting stronger every day!" I watched him ramble about his training session, gesturing wildly as he recounted every detail. It was endearing, in an exhausting sort of way. He was exactly like his character in the anime—loud, enthusiastic, and utterly genuine. "Oh!" He sat up suddenly. "I almost forgot! I've been thinking about your name all day." He grinned widely. "I've decided to call you Mr. Bacon!" Mr. Bacon? MR. BACON?! That was even worse than Pork Chop! I let out an indignant squeal, stomping my little hooves on the floor. "What? You don't like it?" Naruto looked surprised. "But it's perfect! You're a boy pig, so 'Mister,' and bacon is the best food besides ramen!" I continued squealing in protest. Being named after the food I could potentially become was just adding insult to injury. Naruto tilted his head, studying me. "You really don't like it, huh? You're a picky pig." He thought for a moment. "How about just 'Mr. P' then? It's short for Mr. Pig, but sounds cooler!" Mr. P. It was... not terrible. And ironically close to my actual name, Mister Pipi. I stopped squealing and gave a small nod. "Mr. P it is!" Naruto declared, looking pleased with himself. "Man, you really do seem to understand me. I knew you were a smart pig!" If only he knew how smart. I'd managed to clean half his apartment without hands, for crying out loud. As Naruto continued chatting about his day, occasionally pausing to marvel at the "mysteriously cleaned" apartment, I contemplated my situation. On one hand, I was still a pig in a fictional universe, which was objectively terrible. On the other hand, I wasn't alone anymore. I had a place to stay, food (even if it was instant ramen), and someone who, despite his flaws, seemed to genuinely care about me. And I'd discovered something important today: I could affect my environment. I could make changes. Small ones, yes, but changes nonetheless. Maybe, just maybe, I could find a way to communicate. To let Naruto know I wasn't just a pig. But watching him now, excitedly describing how he'd almost mastered a new jutsu, I realized I needed to be careful. If I revealed too much too quickly, it might scare him. Or worse, attract unwanted attention from others in this world. Who knew what a hidden village would do with a superintelligent pig? I'd seen enough of the Naruto series to know that unusual abilities often led to experimentation and exploitation. No, I needed to be subtle. To help him in small ways he might not even notice. To be the pet he wanted while gradually showing him I could be something more. As Naruto finally wound down, yawning and stretching on his bed, I settled onto the small pile of clothes I'd gathered in the corner. It wasn't the most comfortable bed, but it was better than the bare floor. "Goodnight, Mr. P," Naruto said, his voice already heavy with sleep. "Tomorrow I'll show you around the village. It'll be great, believe it!" I watched as he quickly drifted off, his breathing evening out into soft snores. In sleep, the hyperactive ninja looked younger, more vulnerable. Just a lonely kid who'd brought home a pet for company. Maybe that's all I was to him right now—a pet, a companion, something to fill the emptiness in his life. But maybe I could be more. Maybe I could use my human knowledge to help him in ways he didn't even realize he needed. I curled up on my makeshift bed, still adjusting to the feeling of a pig's body, and closed my eyes. Tomorrow would bring new challenges, new adjustments, new indignities. But for tonight, at least, I had a purpose. I wasn't just Mister Pipi, accountant turned pig. I was Mr. P, Naruto Uzumaki's mysteriously intelligent pet, secret apartment cleaner, and... well, whatever else I needed to be to survive in this world. It wasn't much, but it was a start.