Chapter 7: The Duke Text **: Unknown:** Jim Feder? This is Coach Martinez from Duke. We need to schedule a meeting ASAP. Jim stared at his phone screen. The words blurred together. Duke. Coach Martinez. Meeting. None of it registered. Students pushed past him in the hallway. Someone bumped his shoulder. He didn't move. Valeria was gone. She'd walked away. Ended it. Eight months, just fucking gone. And now Duke was texting him. His phone buzzed again. **Unknown:** We were very impressed with your performance against Lincoln Prep. Would like to discuss your future. Jim shoved his phone in his pocket. He couldn't deal with this right now. The bell for fourth period rang. He'd missed it. Didn't care. He walked to the bathroom instead. Locked himself in a stall and sat on the closed toilet seat, head in his hands. This was supposed to be the best year of his life. Senior scouts watching him. Rich Paul repping him. A team that could actually win state. A girlfriend who got him. Instead, everything was falling apart. His phone kept buzzing. More texts. Probably more scouts. Maybe his teammates asking where he was. He pulled it out and looked. **Kenny:** where you at **Kenny:** you good? **Zion:** bro answer your phone **Rich Paul:** Duke reached out to me. I gave them your number. Hope that's okay. **Unknown:** This is Coach Martinez again. Please respond when you get a chance. **Greg:** Mom said you left early. What happened? Jim typed back to Kenny. **Jim:** bathroom **Kenny:** which one **Jim:** second floor Five minutes later, Kenny and Zion walked into the bathroom. Jim heard their voices before he saw them. "Jim?" Kenny called out. "Here." They found him in the stall. Kenny leaned against the door frame while Zion stood behind him. "You skipping class now?" Zion asked. "Looks like it." "What happened with Val?" "She ended it." "For real this time?" "Yeah. For real." Kenny and Zion exchanged a look. "Damn," Kenny said. "I'm sorry, bro." "It's whatever." "It's not whatever. You guys were together eight months." Jim didn't respond. What was there to say? Valeria was right. He couldn't trust her. And without trust, what the fuck did they have? "Duke texted me," Jim said, changing the subject. "Duke?" Zion's eyes widened. "Like Duke Duke?" "Yeah." "What'd they say?" "They wanna meet. Talk about my future or some shit." "Bro, that's huge!" "I guess." "You guess? Duke is a top basketball program. Coach K built that place. If they want you—" "I don't care right now, Z." Zion shut up. Kenny gave him a look that said *let it go.* They stood there for a minute in silence. The bathroom door opened and some freshman walked in, saw the three of them, and immediately walked back out. "You coming to lunch?" Kenny finally asked. "Not hungry." "You gotta eat something." "I'm fine." "You're not fine. You look like shit." Jim stood up and walked out of the stall. He looked at himself in the mirror. Kenny was right. He looked terrible. Eyes bloodshot. Face drawn. Like he'd aged five years overnight. "Come to lunch," Kenny said again. "You don't have to eat. Just sit with us." Jim didn't want to. Wanted to go home and lock himself in his room and not think about anything. But Kenny and Zion weren't going to let that happen. "Fine." They headed to the cafeteria. Jim walked between them like they were bodyguards protecting him from the world. When they got there, half the team was already sitting at their usual table. Torch saw Jim first. "Yo, Cap! Where you been?" "Around." Mike Smith looked up from his tray. "You good?" "Yeah." "You don't look good." "I'm fine." Jim sat down. Kenny and Zion sat on either side of him. The rest of the team went back to their conversations, but Jim could feel them glancing at him. Wondering what was wrong. His phone buzzed again. He pulled it out. **Duke Coach Martinez:** I understand you're busy. But this is time-sensitive. We'd like to get you on campus this weekend if possible. This weekend. That was three days away. Jim typed back without thinking. **Jim:** I'll talk to my agent and get back to you. He put his phone down and looked at the food in front of him. Someone had grabbed him a slice of pizza. He didn't remember asking for it. "You gonna text Rich?" Zion asked. "Eventually." "You should do it now. This is Duke, bro. You can't just ignore them." "I'm not ignoring them. I said I'd get back to them." "Yeah, but—" "Z, drop it." Zion held up his hands. "Alright. My bad." The rest of lunch passed in a blur. Jim barely spoke. Just sat there, staring at his untouched pizza while everyone else talked around him. When the bell rang, he threw the pizza away and headed to fifth period. English. With Valeria. Fuck. He thought about skipping. But if he skipped, she'd know she got to him. And he wasn't about to give her that satisfaction. So he walked in and took his seat. Valeria was already there. She didn't look at him. Just kept her eyes on her notebook, writing something. Ms. Rodriguez started talking about symbolism in *The Great Gatsby*. Something about the green light representing unattainable dreams. Jim tuned her out. He kept glancing at Valeria. She never looked back. After class, she packed up her stuff quickly and left before he could say anything. Not that he knew what to say. The rest of the day dragged. Sixth period. Seventh period. Finally the last bell rang and Jim headed to the gym for practice. Basketball. The one thing that still made sense. Coach Harper was already there when Jim walked in. He was setting up cones for a drill. "Feder. You're early." "Wanted to shoot around." "Go ahead." Jim grabbed a ball and started running through his warm-up routine. Dribbling between his legs. Behind his back. Crossover. Step-back jumper. The ball felt good in his hands. Familiar. Controllable. Unlike everything else in his life. Kenny and Zion showed up next, then the rest of the team. Coach Harper blew his whistle and everyone gathered at center court. "Alright, listen up," Harper said. "We got St. Augustine on Friday. They're three and oh. Good team. Fast guards, physical bigs. We're gonna have to play smart." He went through the game plan. Defensive rotations. Offensive sets. Who to watch out for. Jim listened, but his mind kept drifting. "Feder. You with me?" Jim snapped back. "Yeah, Coach." "What'd I just say?" "Uh—" "That's what I thought. Lock in. I need you focused." "I'm focused." "You're not. But you will be by Friday." Harper blew his whistle again. "Three-man weave. Let's go." They ran through drills for the next hour. Jim went through the motions, but his heart wasn't in it. Harper noticed. Kept yelling at him to move faster, pass crisper, defend harder. By the time practice ended, Jim was exhausted. Not from the workout. From pretending to be okay. He showered and changed, then grabbed his bag and headed out. Kenny caught up with him in the parking lot. "You really gonna ignore Duke?" "I'm not ignoring them. I said I'd get back to them." "When?" "I don't know. Soon." "Jim, this is your future. You can't let what happened with Val mess that up." "I'm not." "Then text Rich. Set up the meeting. Go to Duke this weekend." Jim stopped walking. "I can't go this weekend." "Why not?" "Because I need to fix things with Valeria first." Kenny stared at him. "Bro, she broke up with you." "I know." "So what are you gonna fix?" "I don't know yet. But I can't just let it end like this." "She told you it was over. You gotta respect that." "I will. After I try one more time." Kenny shook his head. "You're making a mistake." "Probably. But I have to try." They stood there for a second, neither of them saying anything. Then Kenny sighed. "Alright. Do what you gotta do. But don't fuck up Duke because of this." "I won't." Kenny walked away. Jim stood there in the parking lot, watching him go. Then he pulled out his phone and opened his texts with Valeria. He stared at the blank message box for a long time. What the hell was he supposed to say? *I'm sorry?* Too simple. *I was wrong?* Too vague. *Please give me another chance?* Too desperate. Fuck it. He just started typing. **Jim:** I know you said we're done. And I get it. I fucked up. I let my jealousy and insecurity ruin what we had. But I can't just walk away without trying one more time. Can we talk? Please? I promise I'll listen. I promise I'll work on my trust issues. I just need one more chance to make this right. He read it over three times. It sounded pathetic. But it was honest. He hit send before he could talk himself out of it. The message went through. Delivered. Jim stared at his phone, waiting for the three dots to appear. Waiting for Valeria to start typing. Nothing. He waited five minutes. Ten. Still nothing. Maybe she was ignoring him. Maybe she'd blocked his number. Maybe she really was done. Jim shoved his phone in his pocket and started walking home. The walk took twenty minutes. By the time he got there, the sun was setting. His house looked warm and inviting from the outside, lights on in the living room and kitchen. He didn't want to go in. Didn't want to face his family's questions and concerned looks. But he couldn't stand out here forever. He walked inside. His mom was in the kitchen with Becky again. They were making something. Cookies, maybe. Or brownies. "Mijo!" Roxanne looked up. "How was practice?" "Fine." "You sure? You look tired." "I'm fine, Mom." Becky ran over and hugged his leg. "Jimmy! We're making brownies!" "That's great, Beck." "Do you want one? They're almost done!" "Maybe later." He headed upstairs before his mom could ask more questions. In his room, he dropped his bag on the floor and collapsed onto his bed. His phone buzzed. Jim grabbed it so fast he almost dropped it. **Valeria:** I got your text. His heart jumped. **Valeria:** I don't know if talking is a good idea. **Jim:** please val **Jim:** just give me one chance **Jim:** if you still want to end things after that, i'll respect it The three dots appeared. Disappeared. Appeared again. **Valeria:** Fine. Tomorrow after school. But this is the last time, Jim. **Jim:** thank you **Jim:** i won't waste it **Valeria:** You better not. Jim set his phone down and stared at the ceiling. He had one shot. One chance to convince Valeria that he could change. That he could trust her. He had no idea how he was going to do it. His phone buzzed again. He checked it, hoping for another text from Valeria. It wasn't her. **Rich Paul:** Just got off the phone with Duke. They're very interested. We need to talk about next steps. **Rich Paul:** Call me when you get a chance. Jim typed back. **Jim:** can it wait til this weekend? **Rich Paul:** They want you on campus this weekend. **Jim:** i have something i need to handle first **Rich Paul:** Jim, this is Duke. They don't wait for anyone. **Jim:** then tell them monday **Rich Paul:** You're making this harder than it needs to be. **Jim:** i know. just trust me on this. **Rich Paul:** Alright. I'll see what I can do. But you owe me. **Jim:** thanks rich Jim put his phone on his nightstand and closed his eyes. Tomorrow. He'd fix things with Valeria tomorrow. And then he'd deal with Duke and the scouts and everything else. One problem at a time. Dinner was awkward. Lenny asked about practice. Greg asked about scouts. Keithie asked if Jim could help him with his jump shot later. Jim answered everything with one-word responses until his mom finally told everyone to leave him alone. After dinner, Jim went back to his room. He tried to do homework but couldn't focus. Tried to watch basketball highlights but they just reminded him of everything he was avoiding. Around ten, his phone buzzed. **Demitra:** saw you looked sad at school today. you okay? Jim had forgotten Demitra went to Briarwood. She was a year younger, a sophomore. Always posting on Instagram. Always at his games. **Jim:** yeah i'm good **Demitra:** you sure? you can talk to me if you want **Jim:** appreciate it but i'm fine **Demitra:** okay. well if you change your mind, i'm here **Jim:** thanks He put his phone away and tried to sleep. It didn't come. He kept replaying the fight with Valeria in his head. Her face when he'd admitted he didn't trust her. The way she'd looked at him like he'd betrayed her. Maybe he had. Around midnight, he gave up on sleep and went downstairs. The house was quiet. Everyone else was asleep. He grabbed a glass of water and sat at the kitchen table in the dark. His phone was still upstairs. For once, he wasn't checking it every five seconds. He just sat there, thinking. About Valeria. About Miguel. About trust and jealousy and all the ways he'd fucked everything up. About Duke and Rich Paul and the future he was supposed to be focused on. About basketball and his team and the state championship they were chasing. Everything felt too big. Too complicated. Too much. Jim finished his water and went back upstairs. This time, sleep came. But it wasn't restful. He dreamed about Valeria walking away from him over and over. Each time he tried to follow her, she got further away. When his alarm went off at six, Jim felt worse than he had the night before. He got ready for school on autopilot. Shower. Clothes. Breakfast. Grabbed his bag. His mom stopped him at the door. "You're meeting with Valeria today?" "How'd you know?" "I'm your mother. I know everything." "Yeah. After school." "Good. Fix it." "I'm trying." "Try harder." She kissed his forehead. "And remember—trust is a choice. Not a feeling." Jim nodded and left. School was the same as yesterday. Classes he didn't pay attention to. Lunch with the team where he barely spoke. Valeria in English, carefully avoiding his eyes. But this time, when the final bell rang, Jim didn't go to practice. He texted Coach Harper instead. **Jim:** family emergency. can't make practice today. sorry coach. **Coach Harper:** Everything okay? **Jim:** will be **Coach Harper:** Alright. Take care of it. See you tomorrow. Jim headed to the spot where he and Valeria had agreed to meet. The same park where Zion had found him on Saturday. The basketball court was empty again. He sat on the bench and waited. Five minutes passed. Ten. Fifteen. Maybe she wasn't coming. Maybe she'd changed her mind. Then he saw her walking across the park toward him. Valeria looked tired. Like she hadn't slept either. She sat down on the other end of the bench, leaving space between them. "Hey," Jim said. "Hey." Silence. Jim didn't know where to start. "Thanks for coming," he finally said. "I almost didn't." "Why did you?" "Because eight months should mean something. Even if we're over." Jim's chest tightened. "We don't have to be over." "Jim—" "Just hear me out. Please." Valeria crossed her arms but nodded. Jim took a breath. "I know I fucked up. I know I let my jealousy control me. I know I didn't trust you when I should have. And I know that's not fair to you." "It's not." "I get that now. And I'm sorry. Really sorry. Not just for saying I didn't trust you. But for making you feel like you had to prove yourself to me when you never did anything wrong." Valeria's expression softened slightly. But she didn't say anything. "I've been thinking about what you said," Jim continued. "About how trust is either there or it's not. And you're right. I can't be with you if I'm constantly questioning everything. That's not a relationship. That's torture. For both of us." "So what are you saying?" "I'm saying I want to choose to trust you. Not because I have proof. Not because Miguel left. But because you've never given me a reason not to. And I'm sorry it took me this long to realize that." Valeria looked away. Jim could see her jaw working, like she was fighting back tears. "I want to believe you," she said quietly. "But how do I know you won't do this again? Next time someone from my past shows up? Next time I have a guy friend?" "You don't. I can't promise I'll never feel jealous or insecure. But I can promise I'll work on it. And I can promise I won't spy on you again." "You shouldn't have done it in the first place." "I know." "Do you? Because it felt like you thought I was cheating. After eight months together. Eight months of me never giving you a reason to doubt me." "I didn't think you were cheating." "Then what did you think?" Jim hesitated. This was the part he didn't want to say out loud. The part that made him feel weak. "I thought you'd realize Miguel was better for me than I am," he admitted. "That you'd see him and remember what it's like to be with someone who shares your language and your culture and your history. Someone who isn't jealous and insecure and fucked up like me." Valeria stared at him. "That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard." "I know." "Miguel is my cousin. And even if he wasn't, I'm with you because I want to be with you. Not because I'm settling or waiting for something better." "I know that now." "Do you really?" Jim met her eyes. "Yeah. I do." They sat there in silence. The sun was starting to set, casting long shadows across the basketball court. "I don't know if I can do this again," Valeria finally said. "If I let you back in and you hurt me like this again—" "I won't." "You can't know that." "You're right. I can't. But I'm asking you to take a chance on me anyway." Valeria looked at him for a long time. Jim held his breath. "One more chance," she said quietly. "That's it. One. If you pull this shit again, we're done for real. No more talks. No more second chances." "I understand." "I'm serious, Jim." "So am I. I won't fuck this up again." Valeria nodded slowly. Then she slid closer on the bench and rested her head on his shoulder. Jim wrapped his arm around her and pulled her close. She felt small against him. Fragile. Like something he needed to protect instead of something he needed to control. "I'm really sorry," he said again. "I know." They sat like that until the sun went down completely and the park lights flickered on. Jim's phone buzzed in his pocket. He ignored it. Whatever it was could wait. Right now, the only thing that mattered was the girl in his arms and the second chance she'd just given him. His phone buzzed again. And again. Valeria pulled back. "You should check that." "It's fine." "Jim. Check your phone." He sighed and pulled it out. Seven new messages. **Rich Paul:** Duke won't wait until Monday. It's this weekend or not at all. **Rich Paul:** Jim, answer me. **Rich Paul:** This is your future we're talking about. **Kenny:** bro where are you **Zion:** practice just ended. coach is pissed you weren't there. **Greg:** Mom wants to know if you're coming home for dinner. **Unknown:** Hi Jim, this is Coach Martinez again. I haven't heard back from you. Our offer stands but we need an answer by tomorrow morning. Please call me. Jim stared at the last message. Tomorrow morning. He looked at Valeria. She was watching him, reading his expression. "What is it?" "Duke wants to meet this weekend. They need an answer by tomorrow." "Duke? Like the college?" "Yeah." "Jim, that's huge." "I know." "You have to go." "I know." "So what's the problem?" Jim didn't have an answer. There wasn't a problem. Duke was offering him a chance most high school players would kill for. He should be excited. Grateful. Ready to jump on a plane. Instead, he just felt tired. "I should get home," Valeria said, standing up. "Think about Duke. This is important." "More important than this?" She smiled. A real smile this time. "This will still be here when you get back. Your basketball future won't wait." Jim stood up too. "Can I walk you home?" "I'd like that." They walked through the park and back to Valeria's building. At her door, she turned and kissed him. Quick. Soft. "Text me when you decide about Duke," she said. "I will." She went inside and Jim started the walk back to his house. His phone buzzed again. He looked at it. **Rich Paul:** Jim. I need an answer. Are you going to Duke this weekend or not? Jim stopped walking. Stood there on the sidewalk with people passing by on both sides. Duke. Valeria. Basketball. Trust. Future. Present. Everything spinning in his head at once. He typed back. **Jim:** yeah. i'll go. **Rich Paul:** Good. I'll set it up. Flight leaves Friday night. Be ready. **Jim:** i will Jim put his phone away and kept walking. One problem solved. A thousand more waiting. But for now, at least, Valeria was back. And that was enough to make him feel like maybe everything else would work out too. When he got home, his whole family was in the living room. Waiting for him. "Where were you?" Lenny asked. "Talking to Valeria." "And?" "We're okay. For now." Roxanne stood up and hugged him. "Good. I'm proud of you." "I haven't done anything yet." "You tried. That's something." Greg cleared his throat. "So I heard Duke wants to meet you." "How'd you know that?" "Rich texted me when you weren't answering him." "Of course he did." "You going?" "Yeah. This weekend." The whole family erupted. Becky jumped up and down. Keithie high-fived him. Greg clapped him on the back. Lenny grinned like he'd just won the lottery. "Duke!" Lenny kept saying. "My son's going to Duke!" "I'm just visiting, Dad. Doesn't mean I'm going there." "Still. Duke wants you. That's insane." They spent the rest of the night talking about it. What Jim should wear. What he should say. What questions he should ask. Jim mostly just nodded and let them talk. Around eleven, he finally escaped to his room. He had three texts waiting. **Valeria:** proud of you for saying yes to duke **Kenny:** DUKE???? BRO **Zion:** heard you're going to duke this weekend. that's crazy. happy for you. Jim smiled and typed back to all of them. Then he lay in bed and stared at the ceiling. Friday. Two days away. Two days to get his head right. To focus on basketball instead of relationship drama. Two days to prepare for a meeting that could change his entire future. His phone buzzed one more time. **Valeria:** i know things have been crazy. but i'm here if you need to talk before you go. **Jim:** thanks. might take you up on that. **Valeria:** anytime. **Jim:** hey **Valeria:** yeah? **Jim:** i love you The three dots appeared. Then disappeared. Then appeared again. **Valeria:** i love you too. Jim set his phone down and closed his eyes. For the first time in days, he fell asleep without his mind racing.