Chapter 16: The Unreliable Witness

Lysander’s eyes stayed locked on Killian. That unspoken accusation hung in the office air, thick and poisonous. The silence that followed Proctor Len’s report was the loudest thing Killian had ever heard.

Head Archmage Valerius broke it. He leaned back in his chair. The wood creaked. “Sabotage,” he said. The word was flat, devoid of inflection.

“Yes, Head Archmage.” Lysander found his voice again, the initial shock hardening into something more performative. He gestured toward Killian without looking at him. “Someone clearly knew I was coming here. Someone knew I would be ordered to retrieve those notes. They broke into my carrel to ensure I couldn’t produce them. To make me look like a liar.”

“And who might that someone be?” Valerius asked. His gaze was fixed on Lysander now, dissecting him.

“The anonymous complainant,” Lysander said immediately. “Who else? They file a grievance filled with specific details, then steal the very evidence that could corroborate or refute it. It’s a classic tactic to manufacture credibility while destroying mine.”

“Or,” Valerius said, shifting his eyes slowly to Killian, “the theft was an attempt to destroy evidence of misconduct. The notes existed. They were damning. So they were removed before they could be examined.”

Killian kept his face still. His mind was working fast, sorting through the angles. Vesper. It had to be Vesper. The man had filed the complaint and then, somehow, gotten into the Scriptorium Wing to ransack Lysander’s carrel. He’d promised no direct action, but this wasn’t direct. It was a shadow move, cleaning up loose ends. Making sure the notes vanished for good, which served both their purposes. The problem was it made Lysander look like a victim and cast suspicion everywhere.

“I didn’t break into anything,” Killian said. His voice sounded calmer than he felt.

“You have motive,” Lysander snapped, finally turning to face him fully. His composure was cracking again, raw anger bleeding through the aristocratic veneer. “Those notes implicated you. They detailed the disruptions you cause. Of course you’d want them gone.”

“They implicated you too,” Killian shot back. He focused on Valerius, speaking to the authority in the room, not the accuser. “He just admitted he had them. He told you he had informal notes from Prefect Vayne about a security issue. A serious one. And he didn’t report it. He kept it. For a week. That’s the misconduct the complaint is about. Now the notes are conveniently missing right when he’s asked to show them.” He paused, letting that sit. “Seems like a better motive to me.”

Valerius’s expression didn’t change, but his fingers tapped once on the desktop. “Student Thorne makes a logical point. Your possession of unreported security notes is itself a violation of academy protocol, Thorne-Kaelin. Their disappearance now benefits you by removing the physical proof of that violation.”

Lysander’s cheeks flushed. “It doesn’t benefit me at all! It makes me look guilty of hiding them!”

“Exactly,” Killian said.

Lysander shot him a look of pure venom.

“Enough.” Valerius’s voice cut through the rising tension. He looked from one to the other, his aged face giving nothing away. “You each accuse the other. You each have motive according to the other’s story. What you lack is evidence.” He focused on Lysander. “You claim your carrel was broken into. Proctor Len confirms signs of forced entry. That suggests an external actor.” His eyes moved to Killian. “You claim no knowledge of the notes or the break-in. Your movements this morning?”

“I was in my dormitory until first bell,” Killian said. “I went to the refectory for breakfast with my roommate, Elian Voss. Then I went directly to my remedial tutorial with Instructor Morvath in the lower levels of the Argent Spire. I was there until Proctor Len summoned me.” He kept it factual, verifiable.

Valerius gave a slight nod, seemingly already knowing the answer. He had likely checked the attendance logs before calling them in. “And your whereabouts between last evening and dawn?”

“In my dormitory. Asleep.”

“Can anyone verify that?”

“My roommate.”

Valerius turned back to Lysander. “And you? Where were you between last evening and dawn?”

Lysander drew himself up. “In my private quarters in the Laurel Hall residence.”

“Alone?”

A muscle ticked in Lysander’s jaw. “Yes.”

“So neither of you has an alibi for the overnight hours when this theft likely occurred,” Valerius summarized. “And both of you stand to gain, in different ways, from the notes’ disappearance.” He steepled his fingers again, resting his chin on them. “This is an unsatisfactory circle.”

“He was seen!” Lysander blurted out, a desperate edge entering his voice. “Last night! He left the academy grounds after curfew! Proctor Len, you saw him return! You noted it!”

All eyes turned to Proctor Len, who still stood by the door like a statue. The proctor’s face remained impassive.

“Is this true, Proctor?” Valerius asked.

Proctor Len inclined his head once. “Student Thorne passed through the main gate at twenty-three hundred and seven last night. He carried a late-study pass for the city archives.”

“Which I don’t have,” Killian said quietly.

“No,” Proctor Len confirmed. “You do not.”

Valerius’s eyebrows lifted slightly. “An unauthorized departure. Another violation.”

“I couldn’t sleep,” Killian said, scrambling for a plausible lie that wasn’t a meeting with an expelled student in a tavern yard. “I went for a walk in the city to clear my head.”

“For over two hours?” Lysander pressed, smelling blood.

“I walked far.”

“To where?” Valerius asked.

Killian shrugged. “Nowhere specific. The artisans’ quarter. The riverfront. I lost track of time.” It was vague enough to be useless and suspicious enough to be problematic.

Valerius absorbed this. “Your return was noted. Your departure was not authorized.” He stated it as fact, not accusation, which was worse somehow.

Lysander pounced on it anyway, sensing an opening he could try to wedge wider despite its weakness for proving anything about stolen notes miles away inside their own campus building hours later after everyone presumably slept soundly anyway though maybe not really if someone were sneaking around breaking locks maybe they wouldn't sleep at all probably but still no direct link existed here really but panic made people grab at anything nearby like flotsam in a storm hoping it would float long enough to save them from drowning right now in front of Valerius who probably already knew everything anyway or at least suspected most things already honestly given how his eyes missed nothing ever it seemed sometimes especially when you wished they would just look away for one second please just one second of relief from that pressure but no never happening not today apparently.

Killian watched Lysander's internal struggle play out across his face like bad theater.

"The Scriptorium Wing is on the opposite side of campus from the main gates," Killian pointed out, dragging the focus back to geography and timing which were solid tangible things unlike motives which were slippery and subjective always really because anyone could want anything secretly who could ever know for sure except maybe someone who read minds but Valerius probably couldn't do that hopefully anyway because that would be catastrophic right now honestly given what Killian was thinking about Vesper and dead-drops and glow-moss.

"Your point?" Lysander snapped.

"My point is I came back to the Spire," Killian said, keeping his tone level again aiming for Valerius's logical ear more than Lysander's emotional one which was currently all over the place anyway making him less effective as an opponent maybe but also more unpredictable which was its own kind of danger too obviously so best to just stick with facts for now while they lasted anyway before everything collapsed into speculation and guesses like usual around here lately it seemed more often than not unfortunately lately yes definitely more often.

"He could have doubled back," Lysander insisted though he sounded less certain now maybe realizing how thin this thread was getting under Valerius's silent scrutiny which felt heavier than any shouted accusation ever could honestly it really did weigh a ton sometimes just sitting there waiting for you to trip over your own words.

"Proctor Len," Valerius said, ignoring their back-and-forth again like adults ignoring children squabbling over a toy nobody really wanted anyway but they fought over it because it was there and someone else had it first maybe.

"Head Archmage."

"Was there any record of Student Thorne entering or leaving the Scriptorium Wing last night or early this morning?"

Proctor Len didn't need to consult anything which meant he'd already checked probably as part of standard procedure before even walking into this office earlier maybe or maybe he just had a mind like a ledger book either way it was impressive and terrifying simultaneously honestly for different reasons obviously depending on which side of his scrutiny you found yourself on today unfortunately for both of them really.

"No record," Proctor Len said.

"And the security wards on the Scriptorium Wing's main entrance? Any tampering? Any anomalous entries logged?"

"No tampering detected on the main wards."

Lysander opened his mouth but Valerius held up a hand stopping him before he could speak again probably because whatever he was going to say would just waste more time anyway and time seemed to be something Valerius valued highly and didn't like wasting on petty dramas between students even if those dramas involved potential security breaches and missing reports about magical anomalies caused by living nullities sitting right in front of him pretending to be normal students which was ridiculous when you thought about it too hard so best not to think about it at all really just keep breathing and standing there looking bland hopefully.

"The absence of evidence is not evidence," Valerius said finally though who he was saying it to wasn't clear maybe to himself mostly as he thought through the puzzle pieces that didn't fit together neatly enough for his liking probably.

"It's convenient," Lysander muttered stubbornly clinging to his sinking narrative like a barnacle on a rotting hull.

"Many things are convenient," Valerius agreed though his tone suggested he found convenience itself suspicious always under any circumstances because life wasn't convenient usually so when it was someone had usually made it that way on purpose which meant manipulation or deception or both obviously so yes suspicious indeed very much so no question about it.

He looked at them both for another long moment then sighed a small almost imperceptible exhalation that seemed to signal a decision had been reached internally about something important maybe or maybe he was just tired of standing listening to this nonsense anymore either way something shifted in the room's atmosphere becoming heavier somehow more final.

"This dance of accusations is getting us nowhere," Valerius announced pushing his chair back slightly from the desk which gave him more space to regard them from a distance as if they were specimens under glass suddenly instead of people in a room with him which maybe they were honestly who knew anymore with archmages their perspectives got weird after a few centuries probably.

"You both have motives regarding these notes," he continued ticking them off on his fingers which was oddly methodical for such a high-ranking person but then again maybe that's how you got to be head archmage by being methodical about everything even finger-counting motives apparently.

"Thorne-Kaelin wishes to prove they never existed or were insignificant thereby absolving himself of failing to report a security concern."

Lysander flinched at the blunt phrasing but didn't interrupt wisely maybe finally learning some caution under pressure which was good for him probably long-term if he survived this mess which wasn't guaranteed anymore really given how things were going south fast now.

"Thorne wishes to prove they did exist and were damning thereby validating the complaint against Thorne-Kaelin while simultaneously casting doubt on their contents by association with a now-discredited source."

Killian kept his face neutral though internally he noted how Valerius had neatly summarized his own unspoken hope exactly which meant the archmage was several steps ahead already as usual unfortunately always so many steps ahead it was dizzying sometimes trying to keep up honestly exhausting really.

"The notes themselves are gone," Valerius concluded dropping his hands back to the desk with a soft thud that echoed in the quiet room where even the clock's ticking seemed muted now waiting for what came next along with everyone else probably holding their breath unconsciously maybe especially Lysander who looked pale again under his aristocratic tan if such a thing existed which it probably did somewhere in sunnier climates than this drafty office anyway.

"So we are left with competing stories and missing evidence," Valerius said leaning forward now planting both palms flat on the dark wood as if grounding himself for what he was about to say next which probably wouldn't be good news for either of them honestly given how this day was going so far downhill steadily since breakfast really maybe even before that since waking up actually yes definitely since waking up.

"There is however one piece of this puzzle that is not missing," he continued his voice dropping into a lower register that commanded absolute attention whether you wanted to give it or not frankly there was no choice really when he used that tone it just happened automatically like gravity pulling things downward inevitably always.

"Prefect Althea Vayne."

The name hung in the air between them solid and real unlike the vanished notes or the shaky accusations or the broken lock on a study carrel that anyone could have forced open with basic tools or even a strong enough kick probably if they were determined enough and knew where to aim which wasn't hard information to get if you paid attention around campus long enough honestly most things weren't secret here just obscured by layers of bureaucracy and tradition mostly but still findable if you looked hard enough obviously.

"She authored the original report," Valerius said stating what they all knew already but needing to say it aloud anyway for the record perhaps or just to hear himself think through it step by logical step which he seemed fond of doing out loud sometimes much to everyone else's discomfort usually because they couldn't see where the steps led until they were already falling off the edge maybe but too late then obviously.

"If notes existed she can describe their content," Valerius continued looking at Lysander now specifically pinning him with that gaze that missed nothing ever especially not flinches or subtle shifts in posture which Lysander was doing right now trying to stand straighter but only managing to look more rigid like a board about to snap under pressure soon possibly very soon if this kept up much longer frankly.

"If no formal report existed only informal discussions she can confirm that as well," Valerius added shifting his gaze to Killian briefly acknowledging his presence in this equation too though as more of a variable than a constant perhaps or maybe just collateral damage waiting to happen either way not great positioning honestly but what could you do really when you were born with zero magic and tried to bluff your way into wizard school? Not much besides improvise constantly and hope for distractions like exploding potions or missing notes apparently but those only worked so many times before luck ran out completely probably sooner rather than later realistically speaking anyway so better enjoy it while it lasted maybe.

"Therefore," Valerius concluded standing up from his chair which made him seem even taller and more imposing suddenly filling the space with his authority like a physical presence almost tangible in its weight pressing down on everything in the room including dust motes floating in sunbeams from the window maybe they felt it too who knew really anything was possible with magic around honestly even dust motes might have opinions for all he knew but probably not still though stranger things had happened lately yes definitely stranger things.

"I will summon Prefect Vayne," Valerius declared his tone leaving no room for argument or delay or anything except immediate compliance obviously because who would argue with a head archmage in his own office surrounded by books and silence and probable hidden wards that could turn you into something unpleasant if you annoyed him too much? Not anyone smart anyway and both of them were at least smart enough for that much self-preservation hopefully otherwise they wouldn't have lasted this long already frankly given their respective situations which were precarious at best disastrous at worst depending on how you looked at it really glass half empty or half full kind of perspective thing but either way the glass was cracked and leaking fast now so perspective didn't matter much anymore did it?

"She will provide a definitive account," Valerius said walking around his desk slowly coming to stand before them both looking down from his height which wasn't enormous but felt like it right then under these circumstances with everything on the line teetering on Althea Vayne's memory and honesty and willingness to get involved in this mess which she probably wouldn't appreciate at all given how she'd tried to handle it discreetly originally before everything went sideways thanks to Lysander's greed and Killian's existence basically causing ripples wherever he went like a stone thrown into a still pond except the pond was made of magic and the ripples broke spells apparently which was problematic for everyone involved especially him ultimately when people figured it out which they seemed close to doing now very close indeed alarmingly close actually yes definitely alarmingly so.

"Until then," Valerius continued his voice dropping again into that final quiet tone that signaled dismissal imminent thank goodness because Killian's legs were starting to ache from standing so still for so long trying not to fidget under scrutiny which was harder than it sounded honestly like trying not to blink during a staring contest with a basilisk maybe impossible without dying eventually probably sooner rather than later again realistically speaking anyway always sooner lately it seemed.

"You are both dismissed," Valerius said waving a hand toward the door where Proctor Len stepped aside smoothly like part of the furniture moving on command which maybe he was enchanted somehow who knew anything anymore really everything felt possible now in this weird upside-down world where nothing made sense consistently anymore except that breakfast happened at seven bells and magic broke when he touched it sometimes but not always only sometimes which made it unpredictable and therefore more dangerous honestly because you couldn't plan around chaos only react to it when it happened usually badly unfortunately yes often very badly indeed lately.

"But," Valerius added as they both turned toward escape instinctively drawn by that promise of temporary freedom from this pressure cooker office with its ticking clock and judging bookshelves full of identical leather volumes probably containing boring administrative decrees from centuries past nobody read anymore except archivists with no sense of humor probably.

"Let me be perfectly clear," Valerius said making sure he had their full attention again which he did obviously because nobody moved an inch now frozen halfway toward the door like statues themselves waiting for the final blow maybe or just instructions on how to leave without tripping over their own feet which felt likely given how shaky everything seemed suddenly including gravity possibly but probably not gravity stayed reliable usually thankfully one less thing to worry about today already too many worries stacking up high enough to topple over soon crushing everyone underneath especially him specifically yes definitely him first always him first lately why was that? Maybe just bad luck or maybe something deeper about his nature attracting trouble like metal shavings to a lodestone inevitable and constant always pulling more toward him until the weight became unbearable eventually soon probably very soon now with Althea coming into play officially finally after all this time lurking in background taking notes literally taking notes about him specifically which wasn't creepy at all no not at all just standard security procedure obviously nothing personal except it felt personal when someone documented your every move linking you to broken magic systematically with charts and timestamps probably in neat handwriting very precise very thorough very damning ultimately yes definitely damning when viewed by head archmage without context or mercy likely because why would there be mercy? This wasn't that kind of place clearly given how they treated expelled students like Vesper casting them out into gutter without second thought so why would they treat a fraudulent nullity any better? They wouldn't obviously so brace for impact soon imminent impact yes definitely imminent now no doubt about it anymore finally after weeks of waiting for other shoe drop here came whole closet full of shoes raining down from sky heavy leather soles aimed directly at his head specifically wonderful just wonderful day really peak experience truly.

"Lying to me," Valerius said enunciating each word slowly carefully like placing stones on grave perhaps theirs specifically maybe both together side by side how poetic except not really because dying in magical prison wasn't poetic at all just sad and painful probably also cold definitely cold those spectral prisons sounded drafty honestly based on rumors heard in refectory late nights when upperclassmen gossiped about worst-case scenarios for cheating on exams which seemed trivial compared what he'd done really put things into perspective sometimes how small their worries were compared his mountainous catastrophic fraud looming over everything casting long shadow where no magic grew apparently only trouble flourished abundantly like weeds choking everything else out eventually leaving barren landscape behind where nothing lived except regret and cold dread constantly gnawing at insides making hard eat breakfast sometimes honestly oatmeal tasted like ash lately no matter how much honey added still ash flavor underlying everything even sweet things turned bitter eventually when you lived with sword hanging over neck held by thread fraying faster every day now visibly fraying right now in this office while head archmage spelled out consequences calmly rationally like discussing weather patterns not ruinous life-altering doom approaching swiftly on horizon coming closer every second ticking clock counting down final moments before exposure complete total absolute annihilation of everything worked so hard build this fragile house cards built on lies sand foundation washed away first big wave which Althea Vayne represented wave crashing shore soon drown him surely absolutely no question anymore game over almost finally after all this time surprising how anticlimactic felt honestly just tired mostly exhausted from running constantly now wanted rest even if rest meant prison maybe sleep there be deep uninterrupted by nightmares about failing spells because couldn't cast any anyway so nightmares would different perhaps about silence wards reactivating trapping voice forever inside head screaming nobody hears terrible thought actually worse than prison maybe everything worse than imagined always reality exceeded expectations negatively consistently without fail lately yes definitely without fail always worse somehow managed downgrade every time thought hit bottom found new lower level beneath previously conceived possible depths amazing talent really unfortunate context though wish talent lay elsewhere like juggling or whistling pleasant tunes instead undermining magical infrastructure accidentally just by existing inconvenient truth really inconvenient especially today right now specifically worst possible timing imaginable truly peak performance in field being unlucky champion undisputed no competition even close honestly deserved medal perhaps engraved with "Oops" simple elegant fitting motto for life so far anyway might as well embrace it fully now while still free briefly precious seconds ticking away fast counting down toward Althea's arrival which would end everything probably maybe hopefully not but likely yes very likely indeed almost certain realistically speaking anyway best prepare mentally for worst while hoping for best standard procedure for survival lately seemed work sometimes not always but sometimes enough keep going forward one foot other repeat until can't anymore then fall down rest finally sweet rest eventually soon perhaps today maybe tomorrow definitely soon now feeling imminent like storm clouds gathering overhead dark heavy full rain coming down hard soon drench everyone especially him standing out open field no shelter anywhere visible just empty landscape stretching forever under gray sky waiting first drop fall signaling deluge begin washing everything away clean slate except him stuck mud at bottom sinking slowly inevitable descent into earth swallowed whole forgotten eventually except as cautionary tale told first years during orientation "don't end up like Thorne" they'd say shaking heads sadly while demonstrating proper wand grip as if related somehow but morals stories often stretched fit narrative needs ignoring messy details like clerical errors and desperate choices made under pressure understandable if not excusable maybe sympathy point? Probably not archmages lacked sympathy glands removed during ascension ceremony rumor said likely true given evidence so far yes definitely true no sympathy detected only calculation cold sharp cutting deep revealing truth underneath layers deception peeled back one by one until raw exposed nerve lay throbbing under fluorescent light of scrutiny painful blinding final moment before darkness welcome relief finally yes welcome indeed almost longed for now exhaustion overwhelming everything else even fear receded replaced numb acceptance approaching inevitable gracefully maybe go out quiet dignity instead screaming kicking would undignified waste energy better conserve strength need later prison fights probably common there heard stories nasty places spectral guards indifferent cruel whimsical according rumors again unreliable sources but pattern emerged consistently negative reviews across board zero stars do not recommend avoid if possible obviously too late now avoidance failed spectacularly long ago first day actually stepping through silver veil without setting off alarms mistake number one chain leading here directly linear path hindsight clear foresight blurry always blurry when desperate enough ignore warning signs blinded by opportunity golden ticket out gutter turned lead weight dragging down bottom ocean deep dark cold crushing pressure increasing every second now breathing harder shallow breaths office air felt thin insufficient lungs burned slightly chest tight anxiety manifesting physically wonderful addition already overwhelming mental load now physical symptoms join party full comprehensive suffering experience complete package deal no extra charge bargain really if enjoyed misery abundant supply available free endless fountain spewing forth generously today especially today bonus round extra misery included special promotion limited time offer act now get double portion just step right up yes sir right this way toward doom express lane no waiting except brief pause while fetch key witness confirm doom then proceed swiftly thereafter efficient service guaranteed satisfaction or your misery back promise probably not legally binding though whatever fine print small font unreadable anyway who reads terms conditions before accepting fate? Fools only wise people skip scroll click agree blindly hope best usually worst delivered promptly as advertised no surprises except severity sometimes exceeds expectations again consistent theme lately exceeding expectations negatively upward trend concerning honestly wish trend reverse soon unlikely though given current trajectory steep downhill no brakes runaway cart headed cliff edge wheels squealing protest ignored momentum too great stop now physics undeniable magic might defy physics but frauds couldn't so stuck obeying laws motion leading splat bottom canyon messy end undignified as predicted earlier yes consistent internal narrative today bleak monotonous perhaps need new script writer current one obsessed tragedy cliches boring repetitive maybe fire hire replacement immediately impossible though stuck with same brain generating thoughts unfortunately flawed hardware limited upgrade options currently out stock try again later after prison sentence served decades later brain addled age regret wasted youth stupid decisions chain leading here again circular thinking getting nowhere helpful stop need focus present moment escape immediate threat Althea summoning happening now process initiated no stopping wheels bureaucracy turning slowly inexorably toward crushing outcome inevitable accept adapt survive next five minutes then next hour then next day incremental approach manageable less overwhelming than contemplating eternity prison yes break down small pieces chewable digestible otherwise choke large concept terrifying paralyzing counterproductive survival required motion forward always forward even inch gained progress celebrate small victories currently victory defined not screaming running room good start maintain composure few more minutes then collapse privately later planned already scheduled breakdown slot open calendar after lunch maybe before dinner depending timing witness testimony flexible schedule accommodate emotional needs important self-care during crisis times yes prioritize mental health despite imminent destruction ironic humorous darkly fitting overall theme comedy genre supposedly though humor lost currently perhaps rediscover later retrospect years hence find funny maybe not probably still bitter old man regretting everything eternally cheerful thought brighten day significantly not really actually darker now nice job brain thanks contribution consistently negative today award winning performance pessimism category gold medal hands down no competition again champion undisputed multiple categories impressive range talent wasted wrong field should professional worrier paid anxiety consultant high demand modern times probably lucrative career path alternative considered earlier missed opportunity hindsight again twenty-twenty vision useless past tense present blind stumbling forward hands outstretched feel walls closing in metaphorically literally office walls solid stone unmoving permanent unlike temporary problems fading eventually except these problems seemed permanent too sticking like glue stubborn refusing fade despite wishes otherwise universe indifferent requests obviously ignored routinely daily basis pattern established long ago communication one-sided futile stop trying accept silence response move on wasted effort better spent planning next move always next move chess game lost pieces mounting opponent queen bearing down king vulnerable few pawns left defend hopeless situation resign gracefully avoid prolonged humiliation traditional approach honor etcetera but honor didn't enter into originally so why start now? Fight until mate forced accept defeat then maybe still fight afterwards futile gesture defiance satisfying symbolic value important morale maintaining sense agency otherwise become puppet strings pulled forces beyond control narrative predetermined tragic ending rewrite possible? Unlikely given constraints reality inflexible unlike fiction where authors intervene save characters deus ex machina unlikely appear real life unless count clerical errors as divine intervention arguably first one qualified subsequent ones less so diminishing returns now exhausted luck reservoir dry cracked earth begging rain none forthcoming drought conditions severe warning signs ignored until too late typical human pattern repeat history endlessly boring predictable wish break cycle unique spectacular failure instead mundane common variety disappointing lack originality even downfall generic mass-produced one size fits all frauds throughout ages indistinguishable crowd faces blur together annals mediocrity forgotten quickly good riddance society moves forward leaving behind debris cleared periodically maintenance crews efficient impersonal job done move next task endless cycle cleaning up messes made dreamers reaching beyond grasp falling short landing hard concrete reality unyielding surface bruises heal scars remain reminders foolish ambition tempered time wisdom acquired painfully expensive tuition life university harsh teacher failing grades frequent retakes allowed infinite patience ultimately graduate death final exam pass/fail system brutal but fair everyone gets same end eventually timing variable quality life differential factor measure success subjective debate philosophers irrelevant practical concerns immediate survival paramount override philosophical musings distracting unhelpful focus task hand exiting room without tripping achievable goal set low expectations ensure success boost confidence needed facing next challenge Althea conversation impending dread building crescendo soon climax anticlimactic likely she states facts plainly no drama just truth simple devastating elegance beautiful its purity awful context appreciate aesthetic later currently nauseous stomach churning oatmeal threatening revisit unpleasant prospect maintain control bodily functions basic dignity line draw there hopefully body cooperate under stress history mixed results sometimes fine other times not predictable pattern emerge yet need more data points currently collecting actively stressful situation ideal laboratory conditions observe physiological responses note increased heart rate sweaty palms dry mouth standard anxiety package delivered fully assembled operational immediate effect noticeable self-observation meta level distracting from primary threat useful coping mechanism dissociation recommended temporary relief long-term consequences concerning but future problem defer address later priority list long items queued wait turn patiently line moving slowly time dilated strange relativity effect perceived danger stretching moments hours simultaneously confusing experience disorienting hold onto solid thoughts anchor drifting away dangerous lose focus need sharp present moment navigate verbal minefield ahead careful step wrong word detonate catastrophe avoid obvious traps subtle ones harder detect rely instinct honed streets slums reading people intentions micro-expressions tells valuable skills applicable here hopefully translate across class divides cultural gaps significant but human fundamentals universal fear anger deceit recognizable patterns consistent across demographics trust observation ability proven reliable previously confidence asset leverage now need every advantage available stack deck heavily against overwhelming odds improvise adapt overcome mantra repeat internally calming ritual familiar comfort routine established early childhood facing bullies larger stronger smarter outmaneuver required creativity resourcefulness limited options expand possibilities think outside box constraints magic school provided ample boxes think outside challenging but done before succeed repeat performance demanded encore pressure high audience critical judges harsh penalties failure severe motivation strong fuel performance adrenaline sharpening senses time slowing further details crisp clear desk grain wood visible individual lines whorls fascinating distraction focus Head Archmage speaking again pay attention vital information processing now engaged fully listening actively crucial miss nothing.

"You will await my summons once Prefect Vayne has been located and brought before me," Valerius said looking at each them turn ensuring understanding complete no ambiguity left room misinterpretation dangerous territory preferred clear direct instructions minimized errors follow precisely else consequences implied explicit earlier lying severe specifics omitted left imagination fill blanks usually worse than reality but sometimes reality exceeded imagination capacity horror particularly creative individuals fortunately limited imagination today fatigue dulling edges fear rounded manageable shape less piercing still heavy weight carried shoulders slump slightly posture correction straighten spine resist pressure show weakness opponent capitalize instinctual response trained streets never show fear predators smell blood water sharks circling already enough sharks present metaphor mixed aquatic terrestrial ecosystem messy ignore focus literal sharks absent room safe terrestrial predators present different type equally dangerous more subtle teeth hidden behind smiles polite words sharp underneath draw blood slowly pain exquisite prolonged torture preferred quick death denied request denied appeal process lengthy bureaucratic nightmare avoid altogether preferable stay alive continue suffering preferable alternative? Debatable table later currently prefer living despite complaints consistent theme throughout existence stubborn cling life tenacious weed refuses die pesticides applied repeatedly resilient annoying trait admired grudgingly enemies frustrating allies reassuring depending perspective currently ally self perspective ally unreliable often sabotages own interests unintentionally still better than nothing work available material flawed but only available make best improve through effort continuous uphill battle tiring give up tempting frequently resisted succeed so far continue resistance today same pattern repeat hope different outcome definition insanity perhaps insane indeed likely certified qualified professional opinion unnecessary self-diagnosis sufficient proceed accordingly aware condition manage symptoms cope day day basis functional barely acceptable standards society low bar cleared barely tripping over stumble recover balance continue forward momentum carry through difficult patches inertia powerful force once moving hard stop sudden requires equal opposite force applied currently no opposing force strong enough halt progress onward inevitable collision course set adjust trajectory impossible systems locked manual override disabled accept fate ride out consequences brace impact reduce injury severity practical advice follow now bracing mentally physically tense muscles ready absorb shock distribute force minimize damage survival priority secondary tertiary etcetera list long ignore secondary focus primary immediate next step exit room execute successfully first hurdle clear then next awaiting summons interval unknown length use productively plan responses possible questions anticipate Althea's testimony predict reactions formulate counters chess game advance thinking moves ahead opponent unknown variables many reduce certainty adapt flexibly fluid strategy rigid plans break contact reality adjust continuously exhausting but necessary cost doing business fraud wizard school expensive upfront investment time energy stress payable installments daily increasing interest rates compounding quickly debt unsustainable default looming collectors knocking door soon answer inevitable prepare documents orderly facilitate process smooth transition custody minimize fuss professional courtesy extended perhaps unlikely hope nonetheless maintain professionalism impress captors leniency possible reduction sentence good behavior demonstrated currently behavior borderline acceptable improvement needed immediately start now exit gracefully polite nod head archmage turn walk door steady pace measured calm exterior project confidence internal turmoil masked effectively practice perfect living lie second nature now automatic perform authenticity believable almost self-deception complete almost entirely except small core truth hidden deep untouched preserved identity separate from role played schism personality manageable compartmentalization skill developed necessity survival mechanism effective thus far maintain integrity fractured whole glue holding together weakening stress tests frequent recently durability questionable hold together little longer needed please just little longer promise self reward later unspecified treat contingent survival motivate minor incentive better than nothing works sometimes try now.

Proctor Len opened door before reached handle timing impeccable possibly magical enhancement perception attuned needs authority figures seamless service impressive creepy same time admiration mixed unease feeling watched constantly accurate assessment surveillance constant reality accept move on ignore discomfort prioritize exit achieved step over threshold corridor cool air brushed face contrast office stuffiness relief momentary then tension returned different flavor awaiting summons suspended animation purgatory temporary reprieve brief cherish use wisely.

Lysander followed close behind footsteps sharp angry staccato rhythm against stone floor matching internal tempo fury barely contained leaking edges visible clenched fists white knuckles jaw tight eyes forward avoiding contact pretending ignore existence failed completely tension palpable thick suffocating corridor narrow confines amplified proximity unavoidable closeness uncomfortable wished distance increased quickly possible accelerate pace subtly Lysander matched step stride aggressive mirroring intimidation tactic obvious ineffective currently immune threats larger concerns overshadow petty dominance games irrelevant distractions ignore focus forward toward staircase descending levels return normalcy pretend ordinary day difficult given circumstances try anyway necessary mental health maintain semblance routine grounding reality slipping away grasp hold tight familiar patterns comfort ritualistic behavior stabilize emotional turbulence rough seas ahead need steady footing prepare storm approaching fast horizon darkening rapidly last moments calm appreciate quiet before thunder breaks loud shaking foundations already cracked repair possible? Question academic irrelevant practical matters immediate navigate hallway avoid collision distracted student rounding corner engrossed book floating ahead guidance charm malfunctioning drifting left bump shoulder mutter apology continue oblivious lucky ignorance bliss wish attainable currently knowledge burden heavy carry alone share Elian later debrief essential partner crime accomplice co-conspirator ally friend definition evolving complex relationship transactional evolved mutual dependency emotional bonds forming dangerous attachments complicate clean exit strategy already messy accept complications worth benefits gained support invaluable asset survival thus far continue reliance necessary risk calculated acceptable proceed cautiously trust earned verified repeatedly still verify periodically paranoia healthy survival trait cultivate appropriately balanced sanity difficult achieve strive approximate functional enough pass casual inspection deep flaws hidden surface calm facade maintained consistently impressive acting skills unrecognized talent field wasted wrong profession regret later currently useful exploit fully maximize utility efficiency optimize performance metrics track record successful deceptions number increasing statistically likely failure soon law averages catch up outlier revert mean inevitable accept mitigate damage control plans prepared contingencies multiple layers redundancy safety nets weak points strengthen continuous improvement process iterative refine techniques based feedback outcomes learn adapt evolve faster than detection systems upgrade arms race winning currently losing ground slowly steadily erosion position inevitable hold line long possible buy time needed final play grand gauntlet distant horizon mirage possibly unreachable goal strive nonetheless direction purpose meaningful otherwise drift aimless succumb despair earlier prevented continue forward momentum alone sufficient reason keep moving stop die metaphorically literally both apply context appropriate choose interpretation prefer metaphorical less finality hope change outcome still possible slim chance grasp hold tight refuse let go stubbornness defining characteristic flaw virtue depending outcome determined later judge retrospectively bias hindsight clear currently unclear muddied waters wade through murkiness find path forward difficult visibility low trust instincts guide proven reliable thus far continue faith tested severely today ultimate test upcoming witness testimony crucible forge character reveal metal composition pure base alloy strength unknown until stressed beyond limits discover breaking point approach rapidly accelerate timeframe compressed events converging climax narrative arc satisfying structure literary sense unfortunate real life participant dislike plot convenience arranged author unseen hand directing events feeling puppet strings tugging movements predetermined script follow lines deliver performance meet expectations audience unseen judges critique harshly rating pending outcome decide success failure binary system cruel simplicity complex reality reduced pass/fail metric reductive unfair accurate life often unfair accepted move on complain futile energy better spent solving problems rather than lamenting existence problems focus solution-oriented mindset adopt now think steps ahead anticipate Althea's arrival prepare responses possible scenarios map decision tree branches probabilities assign likelihoods prepare accordingly maximize favorable outcomes minimize damage optimization problem constraints limited resources time information solve approximate best guess execute adjust real-time feedback loop implement immediately begin mental preparation listing questions likely asked formulating answers truthful where possible deceptive where necessary balance ethical considerations pragmatic survival prioritized justification self-preservation override moral qualms temporarily suspend judgment later reconcile guilt possibly never compartmentalize successfully done before repeat process manageable maintain self-image intact rationalization skills advanced developed necessity coping mechanism effective thus far continue utilization justified circumstances extreme warrant exceptional measures standard rules suspended emergency protocol activate internally proceed accordingly.

Reached staircase began descent steps familiar count automatic muscle memory free cognitive resources planning higher priority tasks efficient multitasking trained necessity slums juggle multiple concerns simultaneously skill transferable new environment advantage leverage maximize utility innate abilities compensate lack magic alternative strengths valuable currency exchange rate favorable sometimes less often recently depreciation trend concerning invest different assets diversify portfolio risk management strategies apply metaphor stretched thin break abandon focus literal descending stairs footfalls echoing hollow sound empty space between walls narrow spiral enclosure felt tightening gradually claustrophobia onset ignore breathe deeply rhythm steady calm heart rate regulate physiological control practiced technique effective reduce anxiety symptoms temporary relief welcome brief respite before next wave hit prepare withstand force resilience built through repeated exposure stressors hardening overtime callus formed emotional protective layer numbness creeping edges concern address later currently beneficial allow functioning under duress accept trade-off cost benefit analysis favorable proceed utilize resource fully exhaust later replenish during downtime scheduled uncertain postpone indefinitely manage energy reserves carefully ration consumption critical period high demand supply limited internal resources depleting rapidly need recharge soon impossible continue unsustainable trajectory collapse inevitable delay prolong survival extend timeline increase odds favorable outcome marginally worth effort continue strive despite futility apparent persistence virtue perhaps stubbornness same difference semantics irrelevant action same continue moving forward inertia carry finish line maybe hopefully possibly doubt creeping insidious undermine resolve fortify mental defenses reject negative intrusions maintain positive outlook difficult fake until make psychology trickery self-deception advanced level mastery attempted succeed partially enough function required standard low set achievable aim meet exceed marginally satisfactory performance review self-critical lenient today allowances made extreme circumstances cut slack forgive imperfections strive excellence later currently adequate pass muster minimal requirements meet survive another day definition success simplified context appropriate adopt lower standards temporarily adjust expectations realistic avoid disappointment manage emotional investment wisely conserve energy spent regretting unmet goals redirect toward achieving